


loudly, so everyone can hear.

by bittertofu



Series: thirty-five ways he said 'i love you.' [15]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 16:17:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11062602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittertofu/pseuds/bittertofu
Summary: It was too much. Much too much.





	loudly, so everyone can hear.

**Author's Note:**

> a series of drabbles.
> 
> i swear to god i love ryuji. he is an angel, a good boy.

He'd gotten into something of an argument with Ryuji.

He didn't remember how it started. Some offhand comment Akechi made, completely in passing. It rubbed Ryuji the wrong way, to say the least.

The end result of it was, everyone sort of avoided interaction with Akechi from then on, in a terse, forced-polite sort of way. It's not like they were particularly receptive to him before, but lately, his remarks went completely unanswered. Sometimes Makoto would hum, just to acknowledge him, and Ann would laugh nervously. Yusuke would just start talking about something else. Haru and Futaba would take up Yusuke's derailment, as if they couldn't drown out Akechi's words fast enough. Morgana simply remained silent on the matter. It only made sense that they would side with Ryuji. He was a part of them, after all, in a way that Akechi could never be.

And so, Akechi tried to say as little as possible. Nothing unnecessary. He wouldn't even make his usual comments in battle, or his once-in-awhile quips in the car.

The only one who didn't ignore him was Akira, of course. He tried to get Akechi to speak again, but usually, Akechi would only smile. No matter how much Akira tried to include Akechi in the group, it just didn't work out.

Ryuji was especially hard to deal with. His manner towards Akechi was pointedly brusque, and he scowled at Akechi more often than not. Shouldered him out of the way if he got too close. Told him not to interfere if Akechi tried to help him in fights with items or healing or removing status ailments. It didn't bother Akechi, exactly. He was ambivalent about Ryuji at best. Ambivalent to all of them, really, except for Haru, to whom he grudgingly felt he owed something. He hated owing things.

It was at Leblanc that Ryuji's pent up frustrations finally spilled out.

“I really don't get it,” said Ryuji, brows furrowed, a frown plastered on his face. “What the hell is he doing here, anyway? He wants to get rid of the Phantom Thieves, right? I just don't trust him.”

Speaking as if Akechi was not even there. It figured. Akechi couldn't really blame Ryuji for his distaste, either. He'd made it very clear that his goal was to disband the Phantom Thieves at the end of it all. Ryuji wasn't wrong. Ryuji was also right not to trust him, but Akechi worked tirelessly, diligently, to make sure that wasn't the case.

“I understand where you're coming from,” Akechi said. “I did force myself into your group, after all. And you're right, I do want the Phantom Thieves to come to an end. But know that until that moment, I am completely on your side.”

Ryuji scoffed, shook his head. Yusuke's eyes drifted to some undefined place in the upper left corner of the cafe. Futaba, Ann, and Haru shifted uncomfortably. Only Makoto seemed unfazed.

“We have little choice in the matter,” she said. “He hasn't done anything to warrant our distrust so far.”

Good, thought Akechi. That was good.

Ryuji looked at her skeptically. There was pointed meaning in that look, meaning Akechi couldn't quite piece together, but it made him anxious. Makoto gave Ryuji a warning glare.

“Regardless,” she went on, “for the time being, he's one of us.”

“Doesn't mean I have to like it,” Ryuji mumbled. He crossed his arms and slumped in his seat.

“Ahaha...I am truly sorry you feel that way.”

There was really nothing else Akechi could say. To fervently defend himself would be too suspicious. To act too cavalier would also be suspicious. He could only apologize and move on.

Akira, who was sitting beside Akechi, leaned his elbows on the table, rested his chin atop his hands.

“I trust him,” he said.

Foolish. A mistake. Akechi tried to swallow down the sudden ache that bloomed in his chest. He wished, just for a moment, that Akira wasn't so naive.

“Thank you for that,” Akechi said, putting on as earnest a smile as he could manage. “I will do everything I can to be worthy of that trust.”

Akira shook his head. “You don't have to do anything,” he said. “You're fine as you are.”

Ryuji looked anything but convinced. If anything, he looked more annoyed than before. Still, he bit his tongue. Whatever he might have wanted to say, he didn't. Seemed he did have some social graces after all.

Akechi stared at his gloved hands folded on the table. Normally, he didn't like to sit with them like this, but Akira had pulled Akechi down beside him before Akechi could protest. Pulled him so close that their thighs and arms touched. Akechi didn't mind, exactly (they'd obviously been close and much closer before), but he didn't quite like the heat that coiled in his stomach. He was afraid of what it meant.

He was so distracted by these thoughts that he didn't notice Ryuji staring at him.

“Why _are_ you with us?” he asked. “I thought you didn't agree with all this stuff we're doing. Stealing hearts and what not.”

Akechi opened his mouth to answer, but before he could even get a single word out, Akira put an arm over his shoulders.

“It's because he's my boyfriend,” he said, plainly, matter of factly.

Akechi felt himself going red from root to tip. Warmth flushed his body. He stammered incoherently a moment, his mind scrambling.

What did he just say?

The whole group stared at them in wide-eyed shock. Ryuji, especially, looked beyond flummoxed. It was Futaba who broke the silence by laughing hysterically.

“That's a good one, Akira,” she said, holding her stomach. “You're such a goofball.”

“I'm serious,” Akira said, dead-eyed staring at her. “Goro and I are an item.”

“Please stop joking around,” Akechi managed to choke out. He hated that his voice came out in a semi-squeak. “I know you're trying hard to include me, but honestly, you don't have to go that far.”

Akira looked to Akechi, frowning a little. He seemed annoyed, but Akechi couldn't fathom what he could possibly be annoyed about.

“It's not a joke,” Akira whispered before taking Akechi's chin in his hand. Kissing him lightly, gently.

Akechi was so floored that for a solid five seconds, he didn't react. Then he shoved Akira away, sent him crashing into Yusuke's lap.

“Wh-wh...what? I...”

Akechi reached and reached for something coherent to say, but his mind was far, far from coherent at the moment. His gaze flitted about, both wanting and not wanting to take in everyone's reactions. He knew Akira was bold, but this was too much. Much more than he could handle.

“Um...” That was Ann. She smiled a little, clearly uncomfortable. “Congratulations?”

“No,” snarled Ryuji, “bullshit. Akira, man, you can't be serious? _Him_?”

Akira was only just picking himself out of Yusuke's lap, glasses askew. He fixed his frames, straightened his school uniform, before glancing at Ryuji sidelong.

“Is there a problem?”

“Of course there's a problem! He's hated us from the beginning, and now you say you're _dating_ him? That can't be right. You can't be that stupid!”

It was a little stupid, Akechi had to admit. It was stupid on his part, too. He'd gotten in way too deep. He had to get out. He had to extricate himself from this, sooner rather than later.

“I...” he started, moving away from Akira, standing up, shaky on his feet. “I think I should go.”

Akira looked at him with slightly widening eyes. A little panicked, if Akechi had to place the emotion behind them.

“You don't have to,” Akira said.

“No,” Akechi replied, quietly. “I want to.”

Akira gave him a sad look before nodding, slowly. “Alright. Text me when you're home.”

And why, Akechi wondered, would I do that?

Instead of voicing his question, he simply nodded and headed for the door. He could hear Ryuji yelling something at Akira behind him, but he ducked his head and tried his very best not to listen. He didn't want to know. _He didn't want to know_.

Walking home was hard. He couldn't catch his breath, couldn't focus on anything. Akira had portrayed something Akechi couldn't agree with, displayed feelings he couldn't return. Guilt threatened to eat him alive.

No, he told himself, firmly and with determination. There was nothing to feel guilty about. He'd decided long ago to kill Akira Kurusu, and he would do it. He _would_ do it. He had to, for his own sake.

Finally arriving home, he sat cross-legged on his futon and stared at the wall. He stared at the wall for hours.

 


End file.
